Groundbreaking Right-Wing Research Yields "Teabagger Oil Theory"

Solar-panel installation at gunpoint part of Kenyan Marxist President's fiendish master plan

Yasha Levine writes in The eXiled:

The price of oil hit $125 today, a 33-percent increase since the start of the year, and will most likely keep going up.

For those wondering “why,” there’s a new theory that explains everything.

You’ve probably heard of “peak oil,” a theory that explains the spike in oil prices in terms of dwindling world oil reserves, and predicts a total collapse of civilization as we know it sometime in the near future unless we all move to Montana and live off the grid. But did you know that there’s a newer, better, more commonsense theory that unravels the mysteries of the oil market while staying friendly to oil companies and praising speculators? Well, there is. It’s called “teabagger oil” and comes courtesy of the same liberty-lovin’ freedom fighters who brought us the Tea Party Movement.

Just like peak-oil types, teabagger oil researchers claim to know the answer. They have unravelled the hidden Truth about Oil and why gasoline prices are so high. They know our fossil fuel-dependent society is in decline and understand the dire, apocalyptic consequences if we don’t take drastic steps to change our ways. But that’s where the similarities with peak-oilers end, and the teabagger-oil schism begins. Because unlike peakers, ‘baggers aren’t worried about scarcity or dwindling world oil reserves at all. Quite the opposite: ‘baggers are supply-optimists, hardcore believers in bottomless American oil reserves (and other fossil fuels, too), which can be extracted in a perfectly safe manner, providing cheap energy, fueling the economy, and keeping this country energy independent for a long, long time.

But there is only one thing standing in the way of this bagger-oil utopia: A grand conspiracy hatched by our Kenyan-born President Obama to purposefully strangle America’s domestic oil production and push up the price of oil. Why would Obama want to do that? Because this way, he and his radical left-wing cronies could push forward with their green-leninist energy plan that will ultimately result in collectivizing private property and forcing every American at gunpoint to put a government-subsidized windmill/solar farm in his yard. ...>more


Blast From Your Past: Palin Lovin' Teabagger Grady Warren Declares Teahad on "Nigras"

YouTube commenter says: "...his boner for Sarah Palin does not make him racist. Pretty much everything else he says does make this huckleberry a racist."

Sarah Jones reports at PoliticsUSA:

The next time a Tea Partier tells you they’re not racist, introduce them to Grady Warren. Warren is a self-described angry white man from the Tea Party, who explains to the “negras” (that’s racist for negro) that the Tea Party isn’t racist. Grady says he is running for President. I guess after Trump and Palin, anything is possible for the Teapublicans.

In order to properly dissect this animal, we need to flashback to last fall’s “We’re not racists, you ignorant negras!” video, where Grady declares a Teahad on us all. This video is also handy to show your in-laws after they denounce the President and you for “playing the race card” over Easter dinner and general debunking of conservatives’ claims that Rush et al aren’t inciting racism. Think of this as holiday inoculation, general amusement, and an answer to the question, “How low can they go?” ...>more


Orange County, California, Planet Of The Gapes: Another Teabagger Caught Emailing Racist Images

But, remember -- according to the media, the Tea Party is not racist

R. Scott Moxley reports in Orange County Weekly:

UPDATE, APRIL 17, 3:40 P.M.: Orange County Republican Party Chairman Scott Baugh determined today that his group's bylaws prevent a vote to remove Marilyn Davenport as an elected member even though she emailed a racist image of President Barack Obama to fellow Tea Baggers and Republicans.

The most drastic action the party can take is a censure, he said. Meanwhile, Davenport refuses to resign and Baugh continues to seek an apology and her voluntary resignation from the central committee.

UPDATE, APRIL 16, 5:55 P.M.: This afternoon, Marilyn Davenport sent an email to fellow Orange County Republican elected officials, apologizing if anyone was offended by her depicting President Barack Obama as an ape--while also blasting the "liberal media" for reporting the story.
"I simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth," Davenport wrote. "In no way did I even consider the fact he's half black when I sent out the email. In fact, the thought never entered my mind until one or two other people [Scott Baugh, Orange County GOP boss, and this writer] tried to make this about race. . . . I received plenty of emails about George Bush that I didn't particularly like yet there was no 'cry' in the media about them."
Davenport continued: "That being said, I will NOT resign my central committee position over this matter that the average person knows and agrees is much to do about nothing."

Tim Whitacre, a longtime conservative Orange County Republican activist in Santa Ana, defended Davenport: "Marilyn Davenport is a staunch, ethical Republican lady. There is nothing unethical about this from a party standpoint because it wasn't sent out to the party at large with any racist statements and it wasn't signed as a central committee member. As a private individual, she is just real big on Birther stuff. One of her passions that drives her is the president's lack of forthrightness about where he was born. Marilyn believes that nobody knows where he was born and so this picture says a thousand words." ...>more


And now, Teabaggers FAIL at Social Media

It's not "guerilla", it's douchebaggery; right wingnut "social media" hack explains how to bias ratings and reviews on Web sites toward right wingnuts

Thanks for the tip-off to Mock, Paper, Scissors, where commenter Count Typo writes:
I can foresee a day when groups of red necked geriatrics in three-cornered hats will march down the National Mall waving “I can haz cheezberga?” placards, prompting the White House to issue an urgent press release saying “Yez U can!”.


Blast From Your Past: Ron Paul for President Rally, Philadelphia 11.10.07

Birthers and Truthers and Skinheads, Oh, My!

So many k00ks, so little time. Get a load of the crowd at this Ron Paul rally in Philadelphia in November of 2007, which kicked off his last Presidential bid. Also check out Daryle Lamont Jenkins of One Peoples' Project having an encounter with a gaggle of Keystone State Skinheads at around the 03:30 mark.

Infowars: Ron Paul to Announce Presidential Bid Next Month

Go for the Article, Stay for the Comment Threads

Normally, here at the TW, we like to steer well clear of Alex Jones and Infowars, but this piece on Texas Rep. Ron Paul's expected announcement for the 2012 Presidential freak circus couldn't be resisted -- especially when the comments section afterward was so chock full of lulz:

Appearing on the Alex Jones Show today, Texas Rep. Ron Paul said he will make a final decision within a month on whether he will run for president in the 2012 election.

Congressman Paul said he will soon make a “token decision” if he will participate in a presidential debate to be held in South Carolina in May. Dr. Paul said he will likely agree to be included in the debate between potential presidential contenders without a commitment to run or officially filing legal papers declaring his candidacy.

“We’re getting awfully close,” Paul explained, “and there are just a few other things I have to iron out personally to make my final decision.” He noted no other hopefuls – with the exception of Obama – have announced their intention to run for president.

Alex Jones asked Paul if he would leave the Republican Party and run as an independent. On Monday, the former governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura, told Jones he would join Ron Paul as a running mate if the Texas representative left the Republican Party. Ventura declared both establishment political parties are the problem and he will not run under the banner of either... >more


The Gold-Standard Hustle

Does Anyone Here Speak Paul-Tard?

Mark Ames writes at The eXiled:

Does anyone here in this house speak goldbug-babble? Anyone who can make sense of Dr. Paul’s logic in the clip below, I’m curious what the fuck this man is trying to hawk to his 1988 C-SPAN viewers. I mean I know it’s snake-oil, but even snake-oil pitches have a logic to them. This one just sounds like bat-shit blather.

As far as I can tell, the reason why the Koch brothers hire tools to promote the gold standard is the same reason that robber barons of the 19th century loved the gold standard so much: Gold locks in the power and wealth of those who have all the power and wealth; and gold locks out everyone else who’s not so lucky, condemning them to serfdom. Which leads to Populist uprisings, labor unrest, and all that century-old misery. That would explain why Koch fronts like Ron Paul hustle the gold standard to us suckers as the equivalent to “freedom”–just like coal companies pitching the public the lie about “clean coal”–you want the suckers to believe that a gold standard will offer them the very opposite of the misery it delivers.

That part of the scam I get. Fair enough. But this 1988 gold standard pitch? Makes no sense.

Over the years, Congressman Ron Paul, hero of the libertarian cult, has hawked his beloved “gold standard” as the cure-all for [NAME OF CURRENT CRISIS], logic be damned. In this video, Dr. Paul promises that the gold standard will solve the trade deficit with Japan, the hot topic in 1988–in fact, Dr. Paul says there won’t even be a trade deficit to worry about if there’s a gold standard, and moreover, people won’t even have to keep accounting records anymore! ...>more