11.10.2012

Post-Election Teabagger Tantrum Roundup


 

Make Good on Threats of Layoffs; Blame Obama

Well, at last the "election" is over and, despite Obama being pretty much the same as Romney except for minor differences on uteruses, Teabagger businessmen all over the country have followed through on their threats to lay off workers if Obama was re-elected, blaming the Evil Secret Muslim Kenyan Usurper Devil Baby and his insidious socialist Obamacare and his evil, tree-hugging War On Coal™. Oh, noes! Somebody call the waaahhhhhm-bulance!

Still, you have to give them credit; they actually made good on their threats, unlike the legions of whining Hollywood Liberals who threatened to move to Canada if a Republican was elected.
So, now, on with the carnage:


After Obama Re-election, Murray Energy CEO Reads Prayer, Announces Layoffs (Washington Post):
For the chairman and chief executive of Murray Energy, an Ohio-based coal company, the reelection of President Obama was no cause for celebration. It was a time for prayer — and layoffs.

Robert E. Murray read a prayer to a group of company staff members on the day after the election, lamenting the direction of the country and asking: “Lord, please forgive me and anyone with me in Murray Energy Corp. for the decisions that we are now forced to make to preserve the very existence of any of the enterprises that you have helped us build...”


Vegas Employer: Obama Won, So I Fired 22 Employees (KXNT/CBS Radio, Las Vegas):
A Las Vegas business owner with 114 employees fired 22 workers today, apparently as a direct result of President Obama’s re-election.

“David” (he asked to remain anonymous for obvious reasons) told Host Kevin Wall on 100.5 KXNT that “elections have consequences” and that “at the end of the day, I need to survive...”

...and, saving the best for last:

Virginia Store Closes For A Day to "Mourn The Loss Of America" (Washington Times):
Virginia's 13 electoral votes went to President Obama for the second straight election, and the proprietor of a store in the south central city of Bedford is not hiding his dismay.

Lyons Jewelers hung up multiple signs on the windows of the shop indicating the shop would not be open for business Wednesday, including one saying the store was closed to "mourn the loss of the America that our forefathers endowed to us," WDBJ reported.

"Lyons will reopen tomorrow to continue the fight against a president who seeks my demise" and "Shame on VA & USA" read two other signs.

Another played off a remark Mr. Obama made while campaigning in Roanoke earlier this year about businesses and government assistance that Republicans latched onto as a campaign theme: "I know I didn't build this — God did."

10.15.2012

Teabaggers Release Racist Campaign Ad Starring "Obama Phone" Woman

Crooked-Assed Former Ohio Secretary Of State Declares "This Is The October Surprise"


Fox Nation Reports:

Super PAC Tea Party Victory Fund is using the "Obama Phone" lady in a new Ohio swing-state aimed ad.

The pitch for the video, which asks donors for help in spreading the video in the state, is written by the Fund's chairman Ken Blackwell, Ohio's former secretary of state, via SLATE:

This is it-- this is the October surprise. We just need to get this ad on television today. Will you help us?

This commercial is a microcosm of the difference between Republicans and Democrats. Republicans want to create an environment where free people make their own choices and pursue their dreams. President Obama and the Democrats want to create a dependency on Government that ensures that Americans will continue to rely on Washington from cradle to grave.

What this lady said is so offensive because it's so blatant--she finally comes out and says what we all know that the Democrats really think. That's why this ad is so damaging to the President here in Ohio.

Let me tell you something, I'm from Ohio -- I was elected statewide as the Secretary of State, and Ohio State Treasurer--this ad is effective. If swing voters in this state see this ad, they simply will not support President Obama, and he will lose Ohio.

.

And, just to refresh your memories -- and for even more cheap laffs -- here's the original Obama Phone Woman footage in its orignial context:

 

8.20.2012

Megadeth MegaFAIL

Megadeth Frontman Dave Mustaine Sails Off Edge Of Earth, Claims Obama Staged Colorado, Wisconsin Shootings to Push Gun Bans


Marah Eakin reports at The Onion A.V. Club Newswire (not a parody):
After sort-of endorsing Rick Santorum and aligning himself with the "birther" viewpoint earlier this year, notoriously conservative Dave Mustaine is speaking out against President Obama again. This time, the Megadeth frontman and Rock ‘N’ Jock softball player has accused Obama of “staging” the shootings in Aurora, Colorado and at the Sikh Temple in Wisconsin, all so that he could “pass a gun ban.”

In the speech, which he made last week between songs at a Megadeth show in Singapore, Mustaine says that Obama is trying to turn the U.S. into “Nazi America,” and that if things keep going the way they’ve been going, he’s going to be forced to move away. After a heckler shouts out in opposition, Mustaine chastises him, saying, “Did you guys pay to listen to him or me?” Luckily for Mustaine, being a total idiot shitbag is not one of the offenses punishable by caning in Singapore.

6.28.2012

George Hutchins is running for Congress again -- no, really, seriously

Remember George Hutchins, the North Carolina Teabagger who posted The Funniest Campaign Web Site Ever? Well, he's running for Congress again. No, really, seriously. Here he is being interviewed by Adam Kokesh And His Slightly Tight Tank Top. Those of you whose long-term memories go back before the last "election" will remember Adam "Kotex" Kokesh as one of the co-founders of Iraq Veterans Against The War, marching alongside the likes of Cindy Sheehan and Code Pink -- until Kokesh suddenly veered hard to the right, into the Paultard Lane. Kokesh was later famous for his program "Adam Vs. The Man" which ran for a time on the Russia Today channel until it was booted for doing Ron Paul fundraising on the air -- on-air political fundraising on a TV network run by a foreign government being the huge no-no that it is.

So, Adam And His Slightly Tight Tank Top Vs. The Man is currently relegated to YouTube, where it's doing a slow fade -- except for occasional flashes of entertaining brilliance, such as this:

 

6.15.2012

Glorification FAIL: Hideous $3999.95 Portrait of Andrew Breitbart Revealed as Fraud


Third-rate Photoshop Mashup Lifted Imagery From "Assassin's Creed" Computer Game

Wonkette reports:
 So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven, ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and innocent Department of Agriculture employees from beyond the grave? You know, the painting that one actual professional art critic called a “masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste?” The painting that Patriot Depot is selling reproductions of for the bargain price of a mere $3999.95 for a limited-edition 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas? The painting which The Patriot Update bravely calls, “The Painting Obama Fears?” Yeah, it’s not so much a painting as a Photoshop mashup of a stock photo of Andrew Breitbart and a character from the copyrighted computer game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website — no doubt somebody will find that soon, too. ...>more

...and don't forget to check out this newly-released tributed to David Bugnon by our comrade Mike Flugennock!

5.14.2012

Fun, fun, fun! Beach Boys singer calls Obama "Socialist Asshole"

TMZ Reports:
Americans will be "f**ked" if Barack Obama gets re-elected ... this according to Beach Boys singer Bruce Johnston.

Bruce was signing autographs for fans in New York yesterday when the conversation turned political.

"Obama's an a**hole, "Johnston says ... adding, "Unless you're interested in never having any money and being socialized."

But Johnston was an equal opportunity disser -- saying, "And who's the Republican a**hole?"

"Our guy isn't any good."

He continued, "You got Reagan and Tip O'Neill ... those are the last two good guys."

"Wait 'til Obama doesnt have to try anymore," Bruce added ... "you're f**ked." ...>video here